When they question your motives

After the kind act of restoring the inheritance of Mephibosheth, David attempts another gesture of goodwill. He send messengers to a nearby kingdom to console the son of that country’s deceased king.

After this the king of the Ammonites died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place. And David said, “I will deal loyally with Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father dealt loyally with me.” So David sent by his servants to console him concerning his father. And David’s servants came into the land of the Ammonites. But the princes of the Ammonites said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think, because David has sent comforters to you, that he is honoring your father? Has not David sent his servants to you to search the city and to spy it out and to overthrow it?” (2 Sam. 10:1-3)

Although there was a longer-term history of conflict with the Ammonites, David and their king had “dealt loyally” with one another in recent years. But after their king’s death, the Ammonite political leaders don’t trust David. They think he has plans to conquer their city. They doubt his intentions.

Intentions are also questioned or doubted among members in a family or family business. Someone’s efforts to communicate are seen as an attempt to manipulate people or satisfy an ulterior motive. A gift given is viewed as an attempt to buy one’s affection or loyalty. Caring for an elderly parent or grandparent is perceived as an attempt to influence an inheritance. If there has been a history of mistrust, poor communication, or conflict in a family business, it’s easy to fall into the trap of not taking someone at their word.

Have your motives ever been questioned? What is needed in your family or business to improve communication and relationships, so that people are taken at face value?