When the leader snaps

My last refelction contemplated the challenge of being generous while living in the wilderness. How do you give, when every fiber in your body tells you to preserve in the midst of isolation or fear or struggle? Focusing on generosity, or remembering our obligation to tithe, is key to moving us us through, and even out, of our vocational, emotional, relational, or spiritual wilderness experience.

The wilderness can be especially hard on a leader, trying to balance the hopeful future with the hellish present. Sometimes the leader snaps. They lose it.

And there are consequences.

This happens with Moses and Aaron as they perform a miracle in bringing water out of a rock at Meribah for the thirsty, complaining, Israelite community. Here is the situation (slightly condensed):

Now there was no water for the congregation. And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. And the people quarreled with Moses…

Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them, and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.” And Moses took the staff from before the Lord, as he commanded him.

Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock. And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” (Numbers 20:2-12)

We see Moses and Aaron intervene for their people, and God indeed saves them with water. But the way in which Moses and Aaron bring water to the Isrealites upsets God. They perform the act, but do so in a way that displeases Him.

Maybe it is the way Moses and Aaron berate the Israelites: “Hear now, you rebels…”

Maybe it is because Moses “strikes” the rock instead of “tells” the rock.

Maybe it is the way Moses and Aaron exalt themselves and take credit for the miracle, separating themselves from their community by suggesting the Isrealites beg for survival with their rhetorical question: “Shall WE bring water for YOU out this rock?”

We don’t know the exact location of Moses and Aaron’s disobedience, but the way they approach the situation misses the mark. God tells Moses and Aaron they won’t leave the wilderness.

In our families and family businesses, when we are under pressure or angry, when we are at odds with our loved ones, when we feel like everything is out of place and nothing is going right — when we are in the wilderness — our leadership skills can sometimes leave something to be desired. The way we handle ourselves, the way we relate to others, the way we take our frustrations out on those closest to us can be at odds with our faith. As if the wilderness wasn’t difficult enough, our leadership behavior can make it worse.

If you are a family business leader, have you ever 'snapped' — made a poor decision you later regretted? Have you ever been on the recieving end of a leader’s bad decision during a difficult time in your family company?