The point (or party) when the family begins to unravel
Judges 14:10-15
Samson’s parents are terribly upset with his choice of a bride from the ruling Philistine community. But they support the marriage and prepare for the wedding.
[Samson’s] father went down to the woman, and Samson prepared a feast there, for so the young men used to do. As soon as the people saw him, they brought thirty companions to be with him. And Samson said to them, “Let me now put a riddle to you. If you can tell me what it is, within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty changes of clothes, but if you cannot tell me what it is, then you shall give me thirty linen garments and thirty changes of clothes.” And they said to him, “Put your riddle, that we may hear it.” And he said to them,
“Out of the eater came something to eat.
Out of the strong came something sweet.”And in three days they could not solve the riddle.
On the fourth day they said to Samson's wife, “Entice your husband to tell us what the riddle is, lest we burn you and your father's house with fire. Have you invited us here to impoverish us?” (Judges 14:10-15)
It starts out innocently enough. A group comes together to celebrate a wedding, and the groom, as part of the festivities, offers a wager that rests on the answer to a riddle. But this particular riddle comes from an experience that Samson has not shared with anyone (his killing of a lion and subsequent finding of honey in the carcass), so it would be difficult for anyone to guess the answer. The guests at the wedding realize they are going to lose the bet, and they aren’t happy, so they threaten Samson’s bride-to-be.
The story reminds me of all the family disputes that have arisen out of a seemingly innocent celebration. A birthday gathering, a wedding, a funeral. A party to celebrate an anniversary, a gradution, or a sporting event. Whatever the occasion, something happens that sparks a conflict. A comment, a joke, a look, a late arrival, a whisper…even an unintentional brush-off. In the midst of a celebration, someone is deeply offended. And as we’ll see in the coming weeks, that small infraction sparks a cycle of nasty, tit-for-tat behavior.
Has a misunderstanding or conflict in your family ever arisen, even unintentionally, from a gathering or celebration? More broadly, if you’ve experienced family conflict, can you pinpoint the exact origin of the dispute or the offending incident?