Repeating (and breaking) negative cycles in your family business

In my last reflection, Gideon and his family have become ensnared in Israel’s worship of the gold ephod (a vest worn by the High Priest) made from the spoils of war. However, Israel’s external enemies have been subdued, and there has been peace in the land for about 40 years. Then Gideon dies, and it all falls apart:

As soon as Gideon died, the people of Israel turned again and whored after the Baals and made Baal-berith their god. And the people of Israel did not remember the LORD their God, who had delivered them from the hand of all their enemies on every side, and they did not show steadfast love to the family of Jerubbaal (that is, Gideon) in return for all the good that he had done to Israel. (Judges 8:33-35)

As we come to the end of our reflection on Gideon, we see that Israel, as soon as Gideon is gone, goes back to worshipping false gods. This remarkable story of a hesitant farmer who takes an army of 300 men to fight tens of thousands of enemy soldiers, unifies several tribes, refuses to be named a king, and creates decades of peace, is immediately forgotten by his community. The cycle of Israel’s separation from God, which is our separation, begins again.

So it goes with our families and family businesses. While there are positive patterns, it’s also the negative behaviors we see in prior generations — in our parents, in their parents, and in their parents — that keep showing up in us, in our siblings, in our kids, and in the family and business systems in which we participate. It might be chasing the shiny objects or the get-rich-quick strategies that cause us to stumble. In the way children, siblings, or in-laws are treated. In the way decisions are made, how people work, or how communication happens (or doesn’t). In the addictions, repeated trauma, or in the objects of worship. Unless broken, the cycles continue to separate us from each other and from God.

Do you ever feel that your are living through a negative cycle, a repeating pattern, or previous chapters of your family history? How might acknowledging and talking about prior cycles help your family and family business have a more successful future?