"Hot anger" in the family business

My last reflection focused on the point when things go south at Samson’s wedding party. Under the guise of wedding fun and games, Samson gives a riddle whose answer is known only to him. The locals, angry at this deception, threaten his prospective bride. In response, she plies Samson for the answer then passes it along to “her people.” Samson is very upset when his riddle is unexpectedly answered.

And the Spirit of the LORD rushed upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon and struck down thirty men of the town and took their spoil and gave the garments to those who had told the riddle. In hot anger he went back to his father’s house. And Samson’s wife was given to his companion, who had been his best man. (Judges 14:19-20)

Samson lost the wager and must acquire 30 garments to pay off the bet. Instead of heading to the nearest ancient Costco equivalent, he murders 30 local men and takes their garments. A more violent scenario could scarcely be imagined. Then, when he goes home, his wife is given to his best man! What started with a riddle and a bet turned into violence, the end of a marriage before it began, and, we can assume, the loss of a friendship. Samson not only lost his cool, but his “hot anger” had real consequences.

Samson isn’t the only person with anger management issues. Some family members demonstrate a fury so great it defeats the hope of working together. It destroys the trust and respect so critical in a family business. Sometimes it even turns violent. The sad part is such exhibitions of rage can lead to family estrangement, the opposite of what we often hope for our family. When “hot anger” overtakes us, the ones we love the most move the furthest away.

Have you experienced pure anger – or even displayed it yourself – directed at a family member? What are some of the current or past consequences of unmanaged anger in your family business?

P.S. I flew through several airports this week while writing this post, and the topic brought to mind this clip from the movie “Anger Management”…