Finding our moral center

My last reflection focused on how God used one of King David’s advisors, Nathan, to communicate his disappointment with David’s behavior. Instead of immediately calling out David’s bad conduct, however, Nathan’s approach is to tell a story about a rich person who decides to take the one valuable possession (a lamb) of a poor person. Here is David’s response to Nathan’s parable:

Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the (rich) man, and he said to Nathan, “As the LORD lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.” (2 Sam. 12:5-6)

King David is fired up! He clearly sees the injustice of the rich man’s actions, even suggesting the guy should die because of his behavior. Death is an extreme penalty for stealing, but the restoration of stolen goods, including animals, is addressed in the oldest Biblical laws. It appears David, despite sleeping with Bathsheba, getting her pregnant, attempting a cover-up, getting Uriah killed, and playing down the whole event, still has a sense of right and wrong. David’s response to the parable confirms he is not totally lost.

We sometimes think that when a family member has made an obviously wrong or poor choice, he or she has completely lost their moral compass. My experience, however, is that they still have an understanding of right and wrong. A number of factors, such as a history of conflict, miscommunication, assumptions, frustration, low self-esteem, insecurity, or deep personal pain has, in their mind, justified their inappropriate approach. This explanation doesn’t excuse their behavior. But, believing in or confirming a family member’s conscience keeps alive the possibility that the relationship might one day be repaired or restored.

Have you made, or witnessed others making, really poor decisions in the family business? How might you confirm whether they still have a moral center, despite their choice?