Clues to behavior in the family business

My last reflection was on Jephthah’s tragic vow and how the negative family cycle is occurring within the broader societal and spiritual cycle of Israel. Now we look at the last significant act of Jephthah: his interaction with the Ephraimites, people who were supposed to be allies, but who turn out to be very antagonistic:

The men of Ephraim were called to arms, and they crossed to Zaphon and said to Jephthah, “Why did you cross over to fight against the Ammonites and did not call us to go with you? We will burn your house over you with fire.” And Jephthah said to them, “I and my people had a great dispute with the Ammonites, and when I called you, you did not save me from their hand. And when I saw that you would not save me, I took my life in my hand and crossed over against the Ammonites, and the LORD gave them into my hand. Why then have you come up to me this day to fight against me?” Then Jephthah gathered all the men of Gilead and fought with Ephraim. And the men of Gilead struck Ephraim…(Judges 12:1-4)

In contrast to Gideon’s political strategy with the Ephraimites, where he won them over by complimenting them, Jephthah gives the Ephraimites no quarter (42,000 killed). Consider what we know: Jephthah was disowned by his family and lived in a foreign land. He was asked to return because of his skills in battle, not because of family reconciliation or healing. And, he makes a vow to God resulting in the death of his only child. My conclusion is that Jephthah was pretty angry, and that anger played a part in how he dealt with the Ephraimites. (We’ll explore a couple more contrasts between Gideon and Jephthah next week).

There are deep reasons people “show up” the way they do, especially in the family business. A son or daughter seeking parental approval or recognition might deal with coworkers inapopropriately. Parents bitter about their relationship with their parents may treat their children poorly. Childhood or family trauma (divorce, abuse, addiction, etc.) may show up in the way a person copes with challenges in the company. I’m always curious about how such factors influence behavioral choices in the family business.

Have you ever behaved disproportionately, or witnessed behavior that didn’t correspond, to the situation at hand? What are the experiences or events from your past that influence how you behave or lead today?