A blessing for communication in the family business

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

I doubt the author of that quote (often attributed to George Bernard Shaw) was referring to a family business, but the biggest issue most family companies face is communicating well. The history of relationships, of living together and growing up around each other, the patterns of informal and nonverbal family communication, and past experiences of disagreement and conflict, all work together to produce an astounding lack of discussion and an abundance of assumptions about the business, about each other, and about the future.

Communication is often lacking not just on little things, but also on big, strategic questions: Where are we headed as a family business? What role should we each play? When will transitions occur? How will the estate be divided? These are difficult questions to address, but not talking about them now will not make them easier to talk about later. So, this blessing is for those family business members embarking or continuing on the path of family meetings, discussion, and interaction.

We know this talk between us
Is necessary and difficult, important and overdue
Yet can be helpful to us 
even while being hard on us.

This talk between us can feel risky
Our differences, fears, and frustrations
Our unfulfilled expectations, the injustice we’ve suffered
Rush like flood waters over an invisible dam.

For years we’ve embargoed any discussion
On topics so important to our future
We’ve let the busyness of our lives dominate
And inertia has run its course.

Each day, however, brings a new opportunity
To consider how to engage differently 
To begin answering the deeper questions
About our personal hopes and our future together.

It can even start small
Over a shared coffee or meal
With a short visit, even a greeting
That simply says “I want to talk and am willing to listen.”

As we work together in this family business
May God grant us 

The courage to begin a conversation
The stamina to stay at the table
An awareness of our emotions
And the ability to use our words wisely.

The skills to listen well and to show respect
Eyes to see the good in each of our family members
Help us to remember we are each doing the best we can
To navigate the future of family, wealth, and work.

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Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20) 

Prior blessings: A blessing for those inheriting a family business, A blessing for an aging parent, a blessing for those between roles in the family business, a blessing for in-laws in the family business, a blessing before a meal, a blessing for a couple transitioning the family business, for those who do not return to the family business, for one who forgives others, for a long-term key employee, for the next generation’s new business venture, for a family member recovering from addiction, for a sibling partnership, for the end of a family business partnership, for grandparents in the family business, for those experiencing family estrangement, for your estate planning efforts, for a family business gathering, upon the passing of a family business member, for rest, for the next generation’s return, for the senior generation letting go, and for the new year.